pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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