Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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