i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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