I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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