having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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