how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
4 words: hood of his car
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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