sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
