Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
