Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize