I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
