Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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