great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
