theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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