he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
