dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize