I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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