I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
