Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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