Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
