benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize