I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
