Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
