I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
