Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
