she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
