My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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