In the future we'll all be gay
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
