end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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