i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
