i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
