it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
