I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
