Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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