What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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