Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
