Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
