im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Someone signed my nipple.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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