ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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