i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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