you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
