and you said cock pushups were impossible
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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