conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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