Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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