WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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