Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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