She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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