He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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