Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
