dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize