I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
