i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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