I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
