you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
