69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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