Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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