My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I need a burrito and a hug.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
