At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize