Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
