It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
