do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
