Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
